Melissa Reddick

How do you understand the meaning of the word “Honor”?

How do you come to experience, accept, and even appreciate what it means to act honorably?

Well, in order for there to be an honorable way of behaving, there has to be a dishonorable way as well, doesn’t there? Otherwise, everything would be honorable and there would be no distinction between “good” and “bad”, “right” and “wrong”, “up” and “down” and “left” and “right”, now would there?

In ye olden days, there used to be a way to identify who was acting dishonorably. It definitely wasn’t from them running rampant through the street.

Maybe they would get a few houses before a police man would stop them dead in their tracks.

One day, you would find them strung up in the town square. They would be locked in a pillory (I just had to learn that word in order to write this), or their head would be chopped off for everyone to see as it lands down at their own feet.

In other words, there used to be a price for acting dishonorably in society at one point, and that price was put on display as an example for everyone else to see and learn from. Things like these put the fear of God into people.

People who act honorably learn what honor looks like from good examples and bad ones.

Samurai are the first honorable warriors that come to mind for me.

People who act honorably get to see the difference in the way they are treated by society as well as what they are able to create as a result of their own behavior. When a person steps out of line in an honorable society, they are taught how to not do that again, one way or another.

At least…they were. Today I’m not so sure it works that way.

Today, we let the pendulum swing too far in the opposite direction. I don’t know if it’s because of guilt, shame, fear, or resentment, but in 2026 we’ve collectively determined that there’s either one side of the fence or another: hit the children or don’t hit them, but we can’t seem to figure out where else to go from there.

We’re still fighting over whether or not childen deserve corporal punishment. Which is sad to me, because if we just took that option away from ourselves we’d probably be getting better results as a society. But people really really really don’t want to give up their right to hit their kids. Hands, frying pans, shoes, belts, whatever they’re holding at the time when their kid talks back to them.

And then those kids go to school. And sit next to each other in classrooms. Some kids have developed the restraint within themselves to follow the rules, do what the teacher expects of them, raise their hand, stay in their seats, don’t talk back to teachers, ask permission, be respectful and maybe even honest when they talk to an adult or a classmate.

Others simply have not or choose not to. They need consistent guardrails, but unfortunately the guardrails that keep them in line at home are illegal in American classrooms today. They’re illegal at home as well, but…

As they should be, mind you. In 2026 I am not advocating that we bring ourselves back to the dark ages. I think we should be getting as far away from them as possible, and yet we keep letting certain cultures dictate that we move in reverse.

People who hit their kids are proud of it. I’ve never once met a parent who meekly declared “I hit my children” with a single ounce of remorse. They might not do it in public or want people to know if it means they’ll get in trouble, but again, this just proves my point even more. And if you’re talking to elderly people, they’ll advocate for the younger generations to hit their kids too.

The parents who don’t hit their children are at a loss because every time their child acts out, every other parent glares at them and some even say out loud “you need to hit your child more and then he wouldn’t act like this in public”. You don’t have to apologize for hoping for a better way. I do hope you are able to create one.

My point to all of this is to say that punishment in and of itself never teaches a child to think rationally. It’s never a solution to the core of the problem, it’s always a reaction to something that has happened after the fact. It’s not proactive UNLESS we’re talking about putting restrictions on children, but again, what structure are you instilling within them that they can actually rest and relax on where they don’t need those guardrails as often? The more restrictions you put on chidren, just like putting a cast on a bone that isn’t broken, it doesn’t make them stronger it makes them more reliant on external reinforcers.

Do they always have to operate with an understanding that if they’re not being punished then they’re okay to do whatever they want?

That’s a disservice. It’s a disservice to children and to everyone who happens to be in their presence.

You can say some children just never learn. I would argue some adults choose to never teach them what they actually need to be taught.

There should be a fear of not acting honorably. One that is struck in the hearts and minds of every human in existence. A realization that all of the privileges you enjoy can be stripped away if you are choosing not to do the right thing. But the main problem is that as a society we don’t ever seem to agree on what the right things are. Everything is negotiable. Everything can be talked sideways out of, and then we let the liars go free.

So kids are raised one way at home, they go to school where the environment is different, they go out into the world where it’s a third different thing.

The world is a very large place. In school, everyone knows everybody. Administrators, teachers, students all know who to watch for and why. Once you leave high school, that’s not the way the world is. Outside of college, there aren’t Teachers and Students, elders and newbies, there are people who are grabbing for money and pitted against one another in order to get the most of it.

If you don’t have an inner sense of “good” and “bad” or “right” and “wrong” that you can actually rely on to help you make good decisions, you are screwed once you graduate high school. If your inner sense is too rigid because your parents did too much punishing and not enough educating, you’re also kind of screwed because you do too much to stay out of trouble which actually leads you to not be able to succeed as much as you could have.

I wish there were elders and newbies in every facet of society. Those who are charged with guiding the younger ones because they’ve been around longer and they know the way up.

Unless someone naturally chooses to take on that role of the elder, they never mature in their ability to contribute to an environment. They’re always focused on what they can take and who might be a threat to what they perceive as theirs. That’s immaturity, and in 2026 it is running rampant among even the people who are supposed to be our elders.

This is why integrity and honor matters the most. Without people who develop a sense that these are important, society is run by children who see the younger ones as a threat, not their responsibility to nurture and support. A threat.

What happens when adults see children as threats?

One way to say it is they kill us.

You don’t have a society, that’s what happens. The world is dog eat dog, and the bigger lions kill the cubs.

Well in lion society, it’s the females that are supposed to teach the males that’s not okay to do to their own kids. Humans aren’t lions though, as empowering as it might be to certain women who want an excuse to knock some men around (more than they already are, most likely).

Who’s teaching the adults in our society not to prey on their own children? Not to view them as targets when you are supposed to be helping them grow into stronger and better adults than what you were capable of becoming?

And this leads me to my final question of the day, and your journaling prompt. I acknowledge that it took us a while to get here, but we’ve really been building something that needs to pop:

Do your role models have to look exactly like you in order to inspire you?

Or can they be different?

If you’re black, do they have to be black? If you’re white, do they have to be white? If you’re a man, do your role models have to be men or can women also inspire you to become a better man? If you’re a woman, can men inspire you or do you only follow other women? If you’re gay, if you’re Asian, if you’re Hispanic, Indian, can you only have role models who resemble you?

I don’t, but then again I’m not racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic. I have a sense of honor, a code of conduct, and a desire to live the best life possible which means I can see people from all walks of life as my Teachers as long as they actually act honorably within their own lives.

If your answer is yes, they all have to look like you, why is that?

If your answer is no they don’t, why not?

Remember, at the top of every hierarchy, where all the evolved people are sitting, they’re having conversations like this without attacking one another or bringing in trump cards. If they’re not, they’re not at the top of the hierarchy yet. You’re just not looking in the right place.