Melissa Reddick

My bonus content question of the day today will be “do men want to remember beauty?” Yesterday I talked a lot about women and how we could master relationships if we were willing to hold ourselves to a higher standard within them. Mastering relationships also means we master ourselves.

But for men, men are good at relationships in general. At least you are with other men. But are you willing to remember that which women are here to remind you of? Or would you rather we all forget?

So if you are curious about my musings in regard to this topic, along with a few more questions, check out today’s Bonus Content! using the link at the bottom of the page.

Some other questions I’ve been asking myself today, and maybe the most important one I’ve ever asked myself, aside from “Who am I?”:

• What is the value of presence in life?
• How much is presence worth to you?
• Do you think of presence as an inner experience, an outer one, or is it a perception that someone has of you?

This is why meditation is near and dear to me.

Meditation gives you the gift of presence within your own life. Meditation, good meditation, meditation that actually works, is part of a suite of tools that help you clear your mind so you can be present with the gifts that life is giving you currently. Meditation, along with gratitude, allow you to enjoy all that you have while you still have it as well as make the best of that which has come to pass.

To me, presence has four different ways it can be looked at. There are probably more, but these are the four that are worth everything to me.

1. Inner presence is the ability to live fully in the moment. The fears of the future, regrets of the past do not rip you away from being here and now fully. Your mind isn’t cluttered, you’re not distracted nor dissociating in order to survive each moment in time.
2. Being fully present with another person is one way that inner presence expresses itself outwardly. When you can have a conversation with someone and be fully present with them, you are giving that person the gift of your presence. You are listening, making eye contact, responding to them at the level that they are talking to you. That kind of connection these days is rare.
3. Being recognized as someone with great presence is another aspect of this assessment. Someone who walks into a room and everyone goes a bit quiet as they stop and stare. Someone who people watch from a distance, they whisper and wonder if they have the courage to approach you.
4. Is it important to you that other people be present with you? If you hold yourself to the standard that you are present with and exerting real effort to connect with other people, do you feel disappointed when they don’t do the same for you? I know I do. That is how I realized that the law of equal exchange doesn’t just apply to goods and services that you pay money for. It also has to do with how much other people invest in their relationships with you when you are investing in yours with them.

Maybe you can think of other areas that presence governs. Those are the four that are most important to me.

Something I believe is worth noting as well is that the more present you are, the more you get out of the time, money, and effort you spend on anything. The more you are able to enjoy the choices you make. That is why I invest everything I have on cultivating deeper and greater presence. It is presence that allows me to enjoy my life and it makes life worth living.

No one can take presence away from you when you cultivate it from within. Maybe it goes without saying at this point, but anyone who has “natural” authority – with or without a title to go along with it – has cultivated presence within themselves.

Presence is what allows you to make decisions that are aligned with the greatest returns. This makes sense if you think about it for even a second. Present people know that even if their life looks like a failure from the outside, it’s the experience itself that holds the greatest value.

Presence is what allows you to enjoy the experience of abundance even when everyone else around you would look at all you have and call it “lack”.

So I want you to think about this as your journaling prompt today.

Is presence valuable to you?

If so, which aspect of presence is valuable? Any of the ones that I outlined or something different? If you have an answer different from mine, state it in your own words.

If presence is not valuable to you, what is? Why is it important? Can presence help you experience that thing or would it put you at odds with what you prefer?

If presence is valuable to you, how much is it worth? What would you sacrifice in order to experience your version(s) of greater presence? What kind of benefits would it bring to you specifically to have the presence that you desire? What would you use presence to experience and/or achieve?