Don’t let shame kill your dreams, especially before you even get to try them on for size.
Are you afraid of what people will think of you, or say about you?
Everything is embarrassing. Let’s just start there.
Having to do things at a stage in life when you don’t think you should have to do them is embarrassing.
Being fired, being broken up with, feeling like the whole world can watch you fail or be rejected is embarrassing.
Putting yourself out there just to have people ignore you is embarrassing.
So, what kind of embarrassing scenarios are you trying to avoid by not going after the things that excite you in life?
Even if you don’t know what your purpose is today, surely you have an idea of what you DON’T want to happen if you put yourself out on display.
Tonight’s journaling prompt is this:
What are the worst case scenarios that COULD play out if you were to do the thing you want to do the most?
Even if you can’t think of what that is yet. I bet deep down inside you have an idea.
Maybe it’s painting a mural on a wall in the city, but you are afraid that would be a waste of time you could spend earning real money.
If it helps you to start with the thing you wish you could do without any limits, you can do that first. Maybe your response to yesterday’s journaling prompt helps you with this. Maybe you want to add more to it.
I can share one of mine, if that helps you. One of mine is organizing a public event, like a lecture or a party, and no one wants to show up. Even worse than nobody showing up is people talking about how no one wanted to come.
Is that something that would make you feel ashamed too?
If it is, add it to your list. If not, what else can you come up with?
Maybe you’re afraid of people watching you stumble and fall on stage? Or, similar to messing up while parallel parking, you’re afraid of people pointing and laughing while you fail at doing something you think you’re supposed to know how to do by now, at this age.
Focus on the theme of embarrassment, shame.
Another thing that stops me from taking risks is the anxiety and fear that I’m doing the wrong thing and people are telling everybody except for me. That’s pretty embarrassing to think of, especially when I know I would be willing to fix my mistakes if I was aware of them. I often have this sense that people assume we should know things that we may not have been taught before. Or maybe we were taught but couldn’t understand why they were important to know so the lesson was never truly absorbed.
There are lots of ways that we can stop ourselves from taking the next right step in alignment with our dreams.
Maybe you’re uncomfortable with the idea that you post on social media and nobody likes nor comments on nor shares your posts, but then you check all of your friends pages and they’re all doing that for each other. That can make anyone feel vulnerable, embarrassed, ashamed. On our worst days it can be a catalyst for wanting to hide instead of move forward.
Where are your vulnerabilities? Where are you afraid to look stupid? Or simply just afraid? I don’t think you’ll have trouble coming up with these. You might just struggle with accepting what comes to mind.
The best practice here is to write down everything, even if you don’t want it to be true or you don’t believe it about yourself yet.
Get in the habit of pushing yourself so you don’t need someone standing over your shoulder prompting you to be honest and thorough. You can do it. That is what a good leader can do. It all starts (and ends) with how you treat you.
So if you need to imagine a scenario of you trying to do the thing your heart desires to do in order to come up with the worst case scenarios that indicate what you’re afraid of, make something up for now.
What would be your worst nightmare? Forgetting all your words and being frozen on stage? Screening a film you worked day and night on only to have it given a 0 star review?
What would be embarrassing to you? Remember, there are no wrong answers, and there’s no way you can write too much for this one.
Get it all out on paper.
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